Actually I was drunk last night.

So Zach stopped by my room last night and we had conversation over rum and Coke. It's nice that he decided to be civil to me again, since we were really good friends last semester. He apologized for being a dick to me and judging me on things that he didn't know what he was talking about, and that was certainly pretty cool. But I realized something about that then too: Zach never was the problem. Sure, he is incredibly impressionable/gullible, but who am I to pick on someone for believing what someone convincingly tells them? Who is anybody if they don't believe what they're told most of the time anyway? Nobody, that's who. And sure, he is homophobic - more on that later - but even that I am willing to forgive, given what happened to me just a couple of weeks ago. Zach wasn't the problem.

Amy was.

Amy, I know you're going to read this and get all pissed off and so I'll tell you now: save your breath if you're going to yell at me because I'm not going to listen anymore. The rest of this post is to you:

You and I have been friends for a good 4 years now and some things have been bothering me for a while, the first of which is this: you never tell the same story to any person ever. So let me tell you what happened last semester, how I see it:

You went to Japan and we had not been getting along last summer. I said something about a girl and Grant ratted me out, and when you asked me about it, I didn't deny it. You flipped your shit and broke up with me. I started going to a therapist. Then I told you I would try and change and be your prince so that we could try and get back together when you got back from Japan. Then you made out with that guy, whatever his name was, I'm forgetting. And those girls. And whoever. And then I made out with Lindsay, and you got mad and I wasn't sorry. I apologized for being misleading. Then we did webcam three or four times and Grant watched and you pretended you hated him because of all that and I don't believe you anymore. Then you came home from Japan and promptly got a crush on Zach. And then you told me that I couldn't date you and be friends with Lindsay, which I walked away from. Then you and I made out finally, and that was fun. Then we had sex. You told me you loved me. Then new year's happened and you got possessive again. Then you started dating Zach. Then you convinced him I was gay. Then you came to my room and held me close and told me you were in love with me and I said I wasn't. Then you started dating Mike.

Why on earth are you doing this to yourself? It's not even me anymore. You're killing yourself by doing this. I never cheated on you and I never wanted to. I never did anything except get tired of you telling me I wasn't good enough for you. Because you know what, you fucking asshole? I am good enough for you and every last one of your friends at Marywood and in Japan. And now I don't want you anymore. And I'm not sorry. You aren't going to make me jealous, and you aren't going to make me angry. So quit trying.

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