The Non-Conforming Sparrow
by: Amy Wagner

There was a non-conforming sparrow that decided to fly north for the winter, and it got so far and decided it was way too cold, and it would fly south instead. It got to about the northern United States and it was just so tired, and still so cold, so it stopped under a tree to take a rest. While it was sleeping, a cow walked over and crapped on it. It woke up and it was warm again, and it was so happy it started to chirp and sing, but as soon as it started to sing a cat heard it and came over and dug it out from the pile of crap and ate it.

The moral of the story: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, not everyone who pulls you out of a pile of shit is your friend, and if you're warm and happy in a pile of shit, maybe you better just keep quiet and stay there.